In case of a rift in the space time continuum

Okay it has been awhile since I posted. I think it is because I am so ding-dong lazy. Well I have been too lazy to translate any songs into Latin lately, and this summer I've been taking a break from Latin, and have been learning an even more useless language for my goings and comings in the modern world, Akkadian. Akkadian is a Semitic language related to Hebrew and Arabic, and it was spoken by the Babylonians, and Assyrians of Ancient times. It died out around 500 BCE and only survives in the copiuos amount of cuneiform documentation(mostly clay tablets), discovered for the most part in what is now Iraq. Why would anyone want to learn this language you may ask? Well besides the fact that it was the freakin' lingua franca of the second millenium BCE, I think the chicks can't resist an Akkadian speaking man. On second thought maybe some chicks can resist an Akkadian speaking man, and if this is the case then I will just say learning Akkadian is just an interesting hobby of mine. At any rate back to the topic at hand, I have been saying that Akkadian is not very useful for modern times, but what if one were to somehow enter a rift in the space time continuum and be transported back to Hammurabi's Babylon. Then those English speaking guys that told you how useless Akkadian was to learn would start crying like sissy little girls, "waa, I don't know Akkadian, waaa" and you would laugh at them right in their faces(that would show them). Well if the rift in the space time continuum thing should happen here are some pick up lines you can use on the "suhartum tabatum" or "fine young ladies" so they can assist you in your temporal misplacement, pronunciation might be a little hard because tapes of Akkadian speakers do not exist, but have a little faith in modern historical linguistics, I'm sure their aprroximate pronunciations aren't too far off. Oh and ladies I didn't forget you, I'll also include lines you can use on the "etlu tabu" or "fine youths" of that time.
For the guys to say to the girls:
Okay for starters you can say
"Suhartum, atti tabtum!!" or "young woman, you are fine!!"
then follow that with
"Inam sha X tamhuri"(X being your name) or "You have pleased (your name)"[keep in mind that h's are hard like the ch in the Scottish word loch]
then for a culmination you can say
"wardum ana kashim anaku" or "I'm a slave(or manservant) for you"(this will also be good in case they have Britney Spears impersonators back then-you never know she could have fallen into a rift in the space time continuum too and entered a time before yours so that their would be Britney Spears impersonators by the time you got on the scene) .
Okay now for the ladies to say to the guys:
"Etlum, atta tabum!!" or "young man, you are fine!!"
followed by "Inam sha X tamhur" or "You have pleased (your name)"
and finally "amtum ana kashim anaku" or "I'm a slave(or maidservant) for you"

I hope this is helpful if you ever enter a rift in the space time continuum and are transported back to Hammurabi's Babylon.