The Epic Of Joegamesh: Book VI

Well, for those one or two fans of this story out there the wait is over. We are finally contnuing with the adventures of Joegamesh and Markidu. Oh and by the way this part of the story was written by Mark

Book VI:

The Proposal

Joegamesh and Markidu sprang into action. Markidu plunged into some nearby undergrowth searching for vines with which to make a lasso; he also tied another vine around his club-handle. Joegamesh, meanwhile, raced into the center of the town and there climbed halfway up the famous Tree of Dittmeruk, the pride of the town, decorated by the villagers every holiday season in celebration of Tree Day. He waited on a branch, 20 feet off the ground, while Markidu set their plan into motion.
Markidu stepped out into the street a block away from the raging bull and began swinging his lasso. A minute or so later, after destroying a bit more property and maiming some more villagers, the raging bull noticed the lasso and momentarily stopped killing people. He focused his attention on the lasso, which shone in the sun travelling in its circular motion. The bull of heaven moved its head to the ground, watching the lasso intently: he pawed at the ground and stared. Most nearby citizens gratefully used the time to run in opposite directions, although a few were either too intrigued or too paralyzed to leave; they stayed and watched.
And then the bull was off, galloping at full speed toward Markidu. Fire swirled around him, but Markidu waited until he felt the fire touch his skin before leaping 15 feet to the side of the road (Markidu considered hiimself a long-jump champion) while simultaneously lasso-ing the bull.
Immediately, he was pulled in seemingly every direction at once by the angry bull, but the lasso was long enough that Markidu could stay out of striking distance. Leaning back on his heels, Markidu allowed the Bull's movements to propel him around the dusty dirt-road as if he were on water skis. He used his studly leg muscles to maneuver himself, making sure to keep behind the bull at all times, and after thoroughly confusing the angrier-by-the-minute creature, he began assaulting it with his club, which, tied as it was on the end of a vine, functioned nicely as a whip. During this time the bull had dragged Markidu out into the suburbs of Dittmeruk, but using the club to steer the bull, Markidu got him turned around and headed back into the center of town.
Joegamesh awaited their approach, and prepared to alight onto the bull. He had to time it perfectly, as the angry bull ran in excess of 100 mph, and he landed right ontop of the angry bull and hung for deer life onto the flesh on the back of its neck. Well actually, he hung on for deer life with one hand, while with the other hand he applied his substantial muscle to the bull of heaven's left horn. He used his mighty prowess to bend the horn inward, to make the mighty bull incapable of goring anything.
But then, the bull surprised Markidu and Joegamesh. Faced with adversaries stronger than it had ever faced before and feeling backed into a corner, the angry bull breathed its fiery breath on its own upper chest and neck. The skin blackened in an alarming third-degree burn, but meanwhile, the lasso was broken and Markidu was sent into orbit; as the bull shook him off, he landed awkwardly toward the top of 100-foot tall trees a mile away. Now with a greater freedom of movement, the bull flopped onto its back and then twisted back up, and suddenly Joegamesh was the one on his back, with an angry bull eyeing him furiously, ready to do him in with his one good horn. Suddenly, it looked like the end for Joegamesh.
But the bull did not spear Joegamesh; instead, out of nowhere, Inanna materialized. One one side of his field of view from where he lay, Joegamesh saw the bull's horn, the sun reflecting off of its sharp point. On the other side, he saw the beautiful goddess standing over him. He had always known that she was hot but in this moment, he had been so close to death that his life had actually passed before his eyes. And upon further review, he really hadn't ever seen any woman so hot. In fact, she seemed a composite of all the hot women she had ever known; in fact, she was such a composite. She could channel the hotness of any mortal woman, much as Terminator II could become anything it touched, she could become any woman that was hot. Joegamesh's jaw-dropped as he looked upon her.
Looking down at him, she said: "I'll give you one last chance, Joegamesh. Be mine. Or be his."
By that point, Markidu had made it down from the tree he'd landed in and had rushed onto the scene, ready to save his friend--but he skidded to a stop when he saw the goddess. His jaw dropped, and he tilted his head in wonder. "Joegamesh," he said. "I think maybe losing the battle against the bull of heaven could actually be a good thing. It's your call, though."
Joegamesh hesitated. He had been proud of his ability to resist the seductress of seductresses. Normally, Joegamesh womanized prolifically without thinking ahead, but on this occasion he had remembered the cautionary tales of the hunter and the salt manufacturer. And then he had said "talk to the hand, because the ears don't understand!" and "You can't have the Joegamesh!" But now, that resistence came back to him as courtship, and if having the bull of heaven destroy his home city and threatening him with death were Inanna's way of courting him--well, it was working.
"I do," Joegamesh said, at which point he and Inanna melted together passionately and with such wanton sexual abandon that Markidu and the bull quickly grew embarrassed. Since nobody was paying attention, the bull decided it was okay to start destroying stuff again, and his first goal was to destroy Markidu, and the bull chased Markidu all around the smoldering remains of Dittmeruk for the rest of the afternoon.
The next morning, Joegamesh woke up on a splendidly comfortable cumulus cloud in heaven, with blue skies all around and the very essence of hotness personified lying peacefully beside him. So far, things seemed to be working out. They had gotten Markidu his own private cloud, and Markidu was trying to meet single goddesses by using one of the many dating services offered up in heaven. But Joegamesh knew it wouldn't be easy. Marriage also required compromise, and all sorts of serious decisions. Would they need to buy a house? Would they have kids? Who would take care of the kids? Would her parents like him? Would his parents like her? All of these questions fluttered at the outside of Joegamesh's mind.
But for the time being, he was a very happy man.