The Epic of Joegamesh Book VII: The Quest for Derek-napishtim the faraway begins

I must apologize for how long it has taken me to write this part of the story(I've been lazy-and this is my section so I must take the blame), but finally we get to return to the tale of the mighty duo of Joegamesh and Markidu.

The Epic of Joegamesh

Book VII: The Quest for Derek-napishtim the faraway begins

Joegamesh and Inanna had been blissfully engaged for about a month, when Inanna’s father An walked in on them, “Smooch, smooch, smooch!! All you two ever do is smooch! Daughter I thought this guy was supposed to be some kind of hero or something yet all he does all day is lounge around and make out with you!” An complained heatedly, “he better do something impressive quick, or else I won’t allow this wedding!!” Joegamesh was about to think up a biting retort to An’s insulting complaints, such as “your mom better do something impressive quick!!”, but before he could utter a word, Inanna’s brother, the sun god Utu, cried out, “Oh no!! Chipbaba and Dalebaba are holding Derek-Napishtim and his wife ransom as well as Miss Dittmuruk herself Suhartum Tabtum, and won’t let them go unless we give them Immortality and the key to the gates of the underworld!! We only have one week to fulfill their demands!!”. Utu showed the ransom clay tablet to An,“Oh, Tigris and Euphrates!!” An cursed, “Immortality!! Those guys are annoying enough as mortals; and keys to the underworld!!, that would lead to complete chaos!! They would surely let all the undead loose in the land of the living and with all the racket the undead make you can just say goodbye to any chance of a goodnight’s sleep!!”, “How can you think of sleep when the pious Derek-napishtim is in trouble?” Utu queried, remembering how the pious couple of Derek-napishitm and his wife had built a boat to save the seed of mankind during the worldwide flood, and how they had been granted immortality for their righteousness and sent to the paradisiacal land of Dilmun at the edge of the world. Something had to be done but what, An thought. Just then it came to him, he went over to Joegamesh and said, “hey lazy, I gotta deal for you”, Joegamesh looked up quizzically from his making out, “yes I am referring to you, Joegamesh” An emphasized (Joegamesh would have knocked the block off of any mortal who called him lazy, but since it was the sky god An he let it slide). “If you want to marry my daughter you must go and rescue Derek-napishtim the faraway and the other hostages from the clutches of those evil twin chipmunks, you have one week to complete this task.” Markidu couldn’t help but overhear the whole conversation. Things hadn’t been going as well for him as for Joegamesh. He had been dating goddesses such as Uttu and Nidaba, but he didn’t have the connection with any of them that he had felt with Miss Dittmuruk. “An, may I help Joegamesh in this task?” Markidu begged, “Of course Markidu, he’ll need the help, but he must agree to the task first. What do you say Joegamesh?”. “Of course I will do it” Joegamesh said confidently, “I’ve got a score to settle with those rodents”, and being completely whipped added, “and I would do anything for Inanna”, which he followed with a sly wink. Inanna’s beautiful cheeks reddened slightly and promptly she rewarded Joegamesh with a 30 second frencher that made his toes curl. “Hey stop that!!” An demanded, “Joegamesh, you and Markidu have work to do, there is no time for making out, go back to the mortal realm and save Derek-napishtim!!” “Aw Dang!” Joegamesh whined, he sure wanted to make out some more, but An was right, there was work to be done. “Come my old friend Markidu, let’s go kick some rodent tale”, Joegamesh said, “Indeed it is” Markidu replied, “if only we knew how to find Derek-napishtim the faraway”. Fortunately for them, the sun god Utu already knew they would need a map and used his magical “mapquest” powers to create a map and directions for them inscribed on a clay tablet. Joegamesh and Markidu studied the map carefully, Start off heading east of the Tigris across the burning desert, take the right path through the Silver mountains, the trail will curve slightly to the left, then enter the cave of the scorpion men. Take a right toward the lake of death, cross the lake of death and arrive in Dilmun land, End at 1 Dilmun land(it’s the only house on the island you can’t miss it). “Sounds easy enough”, Joegamesh and Markidu thought. “Utu, your praise is sweet, thanks for the map, I think we are ready to go now” Joegamesh announced. An heard Joegamesh announcement, and made one of his own, “Okay Joegamesh and Markidu, I’m sending you back to Dittmeruk, good luck, your gonna need it”, and with those words having been said An used his divine powers to send the pair of heroes back to the town center of Dittmeruk. “Woah, that was cool” Markidu said. It didn’t take long for the few remaining people of Dittmeruk to notice the return of the king, and his companion Marklidu, the people cheered for the king and his companion who had saved them from the bull of heaven by agreeing to marry Inanna, causing her to finally return the bull of heaven to its rightful place. The ladies of the town threw themselves at Joegamesh and Markidu begging to be made out with, and Joegamesh was about to acquiesce when all of a sudden out of a nearby cloud popped the head of Inanna and with fire in her eyes and a threatening wave of her finger Joegamesh decided making out with the locals wasn’t in his best interest. As for Markidu, he was attracted to many of the ladies throwing themselves at him, but he couldn’t stop thinking of Miss Dittmeruk and couldn’t bring himself to make out with anyone. So instead of making out the to went to work gathering supplies and weapons for the long journey ahead. It wasn’t long before they were ready and set out to save Derek-napishtim the faraway.